The Crucial Role of Fathers in Foster Care
Paul writes:
I recently read a research paper published in May 2000 about the critical role of men as foster carers (entitled “Men as Foster Carers: A Neglected Resource”. Available online through a simple Google search). The paper cited studies conducted in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, so the data I’m using for this blog is obviously old. However, studies around the role of fathers in foster care and adoption are few and far in between. So, even though the data is old, it’s not irrelevant.
Summarily, the paper positively informs us that:
the father is an extremely important participant in foster care.
the father can give information that can determine the success or jeopardy of the placement.
the highly involved father results in success of the foster child’s placement.
the father becomes great models for foster boys, potentially setting them up for success in life and preventing foster boys from negative cyclical patterns.
the father can play a central role in helping sexually abused girls recover.
the father’s role is so meaningful and filled with therapeutic significance for foster children.
the father may help children who have been emotionally scarred by previous male behaviour.
the father may give the foster child a first, positive, real encounter with men in personal relationships.
the father becomes appropriate role models for foster children in all areas of life.
the father becomes a mentor in the foster children’s social development.
the father’s attitude is crucial in influencing his female partner’s motivation to foster.
the father becomes the activity programmer and leader.
All of these are positively true, in spite of the dangers that men and foster fathers can easily be accused of as the paper reports, such as:
A man is much more likely to be accused of a child’s sexual abuse than a woman.
There is a danger of men being marginalised by social workers, even if unconsciously.
Men being related to as a risk to be regulated, type-casted to a role of potential abuser.
But overall, the positives and advantages of highly engaged and involved fathers outweigh the dangers. As the paper concludes, “The presence of men can be explicitly acknowledged as offering special therapeutic and other positive opportunities.”
My Personal Experience
I have found this to be true in my experience as a foster father. There is something about my presence and role in the family that foster children instinctively crave and seek. Many times, I breakthrough in behavioural and emotional issues in our foster children in a way that my wife cannot. Her role in the breakthrough is at a later point, while my role in the breakthrough is more immediate. Of course, this happens the other way around as well. But Jessica and I can both testify that most significant breakthroughs have been initiated by me and then reinforced by her at a later time.
Turning the Hearts of Fathers
The point of it all is the truth of this principle proclaimed in Malachi 4:5-6 and Luke 1:17. When the hearts of fathers are turned to the children, then it’s a good day for the children! Immense social transformation is possible when the hearts of fathers turn to the children in a God-honouring and Christ-glorifying way.
Are you a father wanting to get involved in foster care or adoption? My friend, that’s the Holy Spirit prompting you and leading you to such a crucial work of tremendous spiritual significance. I pray you say “yes”. Get equipped, face the internal limitations that you know and are unconscious of, and do whatever is necessary to be part of the foster care system in the city you’re in.
Or, maybe you’re a single young man who has felt the prompting of the Spirit to foster care someday, perhaps when you’re married and settled. My encouragement to you is to start doing your homework now. Start exploring how you can be best equipped to face this holy call to foster care and adopt. You are equipping yourself to be part of something that can transform our nation and get a generation ready for the coming of Christ.